There had been a time when she would have happily waited, her blue eyes poking through the gaps in the blinds just for a glimpse of that familiar black sedan as it cruised along the block. She’d ensure that the apartment they shared was as silent as the grave so that her ears could recognise the first footstep out of the elevator, her heart pounding with excitement as each footstep bought her lover one step closer to home. Her lips would form a smile so wide it hurt her cheeks to maintain, but maintain it she would while she sat on a chair facing the door simply waiting for the moment that the key turned in the lock and the door opened wide.
She would wait minutes. Hours. Days.
A lifetime.
Not anymore. Too many broken promises and too many nights spent watching the clock count aimless hours meant she’d never wait again.
There had been a time when any lateness could have been forgiven by a thoughtful gift. Valentine’s Day had become a day of scattered roses and pink champagne and it made the extra hours in the gym seem irrelevant. The constant stream of text messages and cell phone calls that had been answered in a different room while she waited for an explanation had been forgotten and the inconsistent accounts rendered immaterial when their anniversary had been marked by an exchange of rings and a loving caress. The pitying stares of those mutual friends who seemed to know something she didn’t were ignored and considered to be the green eyes of those jealous of how perfect their relationship was amidst the madness of daily life.
Every gift received had been cherished and loved. Every gift given had been considerate and perfectly timed.
Too perfect.
It had taken her years to realise that every thoughtful gift followed a night of waiting. She had only begun to understand that every trespass her lover had committed had been repented through a credit card and Hallmark card of apology instead of being earned.
But once she’d realised it, she stood for it no longer.