He had his arms folded. It had to be him; it was his medium build and he was doing that thing he always did where he held his shoulders back so that they looked broader. She teased him he did it on purpose; he insisted it was his natural stature.
Nearing him she could make out his navy jacket and the way his lips naturally creased at one side so that he always looked somewhat smug. Eva liked this though, she liked everything about him.
She wanted to hug him, ... Read more
It would be so easy to walk away right now, she thinks. So easy to just say 'fuck it' and grab the keys and go. The flight of stairs outside the door is short and doesn't wind, and the walk to the curb to get in the car is so, so short. It would be so easy to just give up and stop caring and leave without any intention of coming back.
She doesn't. Part of her wants to, and the other part of her hates herself for that, but ... Read more
When it happens, everyone sees it coming. Maybe that's why it falls apart. Two best friends, intertwined in every way except blood; a shared first kiss, a shared first love, a shared experience of separation from the people they see in movies and television, from people they read about in books. Though Brooke claims to love boys and Avery doesn't claim much at all, neither ever pays attention to the advances of the boys in their grade.
They do pay attention to each other, though. They fight and they cry ... Read more
A phone call, placed by Brooke to Avery because she feels responsible. She doesn't want to lose her best friend. She doesn't want to cope alone. She wants to talk. But they don't talk, not about the kiss, because Avery is terrible at confrontation and Brooke doesn't like to spook her, especially when she's upset. Instead, they make plans to hang out, Avery's house the obvious choice, and Brooke promises to show up in two hours' time.
The tension is gross. Brooke spends most of the afternoon convincing Avery to ... Read more
He’d cheated on her and now he was telling lies, why would he do that? She needed to move on, to find someone else but every time she closed her eyes she saw and heard him, his voice repeating in her head. Every time she opened her eyes she expected to see him in front of her, ready to apologise and tell her he loved her.
The more she thought about it the more her memories blurred together. The first time he told her he loved her, when was it? ... Read more
Eva told them that she’d never hurt the girl, she wasn’t like that, she didn’t want to hurt people, yet still they’d locked her away like filth and still they cautioned her. She wasn’t allowed to go near them, neither of them.
She didn’t smell of vanilla anymore, it had worn off. Normally she carried the bottle of vanilla-scented perfume he had got her with her at all times, but she couldn’t find it, she didn’t know why.
The more she thought about it she couldn’t remember when he’d brought ... Read more
One of the stray cats who passes by the feeding stations in my yard is named Satan. This name is no accident; Satan has the fiercest battle cry I have ever heard from any cat, fully grown tomcats included. It's truly blood curdling.
Initially I had no idea who of the strays emitted this fearsome sound, but by process of elimination everything began pointing towards this pitchblack puffball of a kitten that at the time was maybe four months old. And the puffball's color and it's cry gave birth to ... Read more
By: Emma Stone on March 7, 2012
His face is inches from mine and I can feel his breath, warm and harsh, against my cheek. He’s glaring at me, his eyes narrowed and jaw clenched. It is wrong that I think he looks even more beautiful when he’s angry? Probably. But then this whole thing is wrong.
He yells at me, a few flecks of spit landing on my check. I should be listening—everyone else around us is—but it’s hard to think clearly when he’s this close. I notice a light trail of stubble running over his ... Read more
So being single isn’t all bad but there are some things I miss about being in a relationship. Watching a horror film alone is a really bad idea, especially when I know that afterwards I will probably be sat with the light on in my bedroom, jumping at every sound I here.
So okay, most men snore and hog the bedcovers but it’s nice to not be alone all night. I like just lying in bed and having random conversations. They are someone to do things with, be it the ... Read more
Things I’ve learnt this weekend:
I shouldn’t go out drinking a fairly large amount of wine when full of cold and recovering from a chest infection. The result is I now feel like a zombie who can’t stop coughing.
Staying up till six AM and having a gathering in my kitchen was also not helpful for said health, although I did manage to finally get rid of the crate of beer that was clogging up my cupboard that a man I was briefly seeing left. I don’t drink beer, so ... Read more
Shortly after she gets involved in the kissing game, she discovers that she quite likes to tug. She pulls hair, nibbles bottom lips, stretches skin between her teeth everywhere she lays her mouth. There's something thrilling in the way that slight edge of pain makes her partner gasp, every time. It takes her a few tries, but she learns how to read the signs, to learn if her kissing partner is interested in tugging. Nearly all of the time, they are, even if they aren't fully aware of it until ... Read more
There are nights when she goes home, strips down to her skin, crawls into bed, and cries. These are the nights that she is inconsolable, too exhausted to sleep and too lonely to call someone. They don't happen often but when they do, they're terrible, because she has no idea what's wrong or how to make it better.
Once, her mother told her that being in love was a lot like fighting a war. Until she fell in love, really in love, she had no idea what her mother meant. ... Read more
Deep scratches scarred upon my skin, faded now but from within,
a heart sewn up that still mutates, seeping blood through its disgrace.
A nausea that fills my mind, I hide from you but still I find
your laughter scraping up my skin, like poison that won’t give in.
I get the needle and the thread, sew-up my wounds until content.
A stitch for every single lie, every put down, every cry.
I hide the truth, but still my mind plays away until I do find
your laughter jabbing at ... Read more
All through school I hated Valentine’s Day. I was always the quiet one whose name few knew, so it came as no surprise that I never received a card or one of those over-priced carnations that used to be given out around school; white for friendship and red for love. The Chinese boy I liked gave a red one to my friend and also broke into another girl’s locker to leave a card and chocolates. I had to endure a bus journey home with a girl who’d received twenty that ... Read more
What is a soulmate? The idea is Platonic, in that it originally came from the famous Greek philosopher whose most popular works feature his teacher Socrates, a man who never wrote anything but perpetuated his ideas through speech. Actually, the idea of soulmates is Neo-Platonic, because it came from a group of philosophers who interpreted and followed Plato's works after his death. Their claim is that human dualism -- the idea that our souls and bodies are separate entities -- also dictates that each soul has a mate. When human ... Read more